Finding Holiness In All Spaces

Whether digital spaces, outdoor spaces, happy spaces, or sad spaces, one of the challenges I give myself is to find some connection to holiness. Right now, I am working to re-incorporate the writing time I used to spend, for close to a decade, possibly more) every evening. From 10th grade until just when I joined the IDF, every evening I wrote (at least once a day). Sometimes i wrote more. I was a prolific LiveJournal-er until the site was sold, re-sold, moved to California, and then eventually moved (illegally) to Russia (seemingly without consequence…well, legal consequences…I am sure there were ramifications we have yet to really feel or discover).

What I realized is that I have been missing a part of my holiness: this period in the evening where I can have ink dance across the page. The period of moment where I can move thought to words to intention and intention to action. To speak life and truth into the co-creation of my own reality.

So I have found holy space in 9pm at night. I am trying to make it beyond a habit, and to transform this time period, every evening, into a holy space. My space. A space to write, to heal. To discuss. To imagine. To create. To plan. To ideate. 9pm is my time. 21:00 is a good evening hour. For the night belongs to Jacob.

I took yesterday, and today ‘off’ of work and responsibilities so I could be present for myself, and for self-care. It was just so necessary; I have found little reason to sit in front of a computer and pretend to work if my brain knows that it needs time to slow down, to do nothing, to do something by doing nothing. So yesterday was spent watching a friend play rugby in the park in the beautiful 60 degrees, and sunny weather, followed by an afternoon and evening with friends. Watching movies as much as we were conversing (safely) amongst ourselves.

Today I had intended as a writing day. My body didn’t allow for it (chronic illness is something that can’t be planned for…just planned around). So instead of frustrating myself, I slept as much as my body needed, and then visited some Ohana for a socially distanced birthday party, got hugs for the first time in a while from some loved ones who I missed (all vaccinated, all wearing masks, all breathing in a different direction; a calculated risk on our parts); and spent the time enjoying the holiness of our company. The holiness of coming together again.

Coming home, I had two meetings, and now, I find myself feeling more relaxed. Ready to do some cleaning before bed. Ready for the work week, and the academic week that lies ahead. Ready. Ready in general for all that may come my way this week. One step in front of the other, one small step, as I continue to breathe in, and breathe out, deeply, and with intention.

Until 9pm is as known to my body as my internal alarm clock at around 6am…just known, that now is the time to write…whether by laptop, or phone, or tablet…to put thoughts to this digital paper…it will be a habit that transforms into a practice.

Selah.