Look at my making a friends post, doing all this stuff again…
Wow, so there’s so much to write about, and I’m sure it’ll come in time – for a very, very quick explanation: I’m in year two of three of my Master of Social Work (MSW) program. I work at Jewish Family Service in a few different roles (I’m in a very weird hybrid position), mostly in Health Home (working with Medicaid clients to make sure they stay connected to their doctors/wellness providers, and social services), but also as the Jewish Communal Social Worker at large for Greater Buffalo. In that role I also have clients at the WNY Center for Survivors of Torture which houses my clients who are Survivors and Child Survivors of the Holocaust.
Before I was in this role though, I was working 4 part time jobs (one of which was directing a not-for-profit within a not-for-profit that worked on behalf of folks with disabilities, and was a freelancers, and blah blah blah).
Anyway, UB (wisely) has us divide up our private lives and our public lives (or our personal live sand our professional lives), and I like being able to sort of have a refuge, where I can talk, or not be professional, or go on about video games…and decompress, or just breathe.
So we’re back to LiveJournal…and since I really don’t actually give a fuck if Russia reads my posts (I’m not too sure why I really did in the first place, unless it was just a “holy shit they’re horrific on LGBTQ rights” reaction), and since I have a permanent account here that should get some use…here we are…plus, you know, friends lists…I can write…and get feedback…but not have to share it with the world…that’s what my professional site’s for…it’s nice to have a Chinese wall between these two worlds.
So two weekends ago, as I was making arrangements to bury my second cousin, my father and I permanently parted ways. I’m not going to go into the details yet (because I’m tired, and have other things to do before I pass out for the night), but his untreated mental health issues, and his drug and alcohol addictions – along with his lifelong and long standing issues with me and my general existence came to the fore: he was screaming, raging, and threatening…and, thanks to being in the military (I’ve been screamed at a lot in the military…part of our training); and thanks to being in Social Work, well I just kept a pretty cool head and was like “okay…so if this is the respect you have for me, I’m just gunna peace out, and we’re done…” and so that was that. Fortunately provided a rescue/landing pad, food, hugs, and a friendly ear.
So it’s been a hot summer for the United States, and a stressful one for me (I took 5 grad courses…which I did well in, but isn’t something I’ll ever do again at the same time…omg what the fuck was I thinking), and it ended on a stressful note…but cutting out toxicity is actually a pretty positive thing, and being queer (and coming out when I did) means that I was very much raised (by my queer family) with the notion that you do get to choose your family…and I’m happy with the family I’ve chosen, the tribe I belong to, and the some of the family that God gave me…so that’s where I’m at, at least for now.
8 thoughts on “Look at my making a friends post, doing all this stuff again…”
Big, big hugs little bro. I didn’t know that was going on with your dad…I am very sorry to hear that he took something out on you. He should be proud of you, and grateful to you, especially since you had made a major life switch to come back to the US and help the family out with things.
Huge hugs big sis Thanks. We’ve been keeping his drug and alcohol issues pretty quiet (for obvious reasons). No, he’s re-written history in his head to that was all about helping me, etc.; it’s fucked up, but after my Psychopathology class at least I understand the clinical reasons behind it.
If I recall we left lj because Russia was beginning to plaster lj with ads and many of us believed Facebook was much better and ad free and we did not need ads in our personal spaces falls over laughing Sorry to hear about things with your dad. I know it’s been a long journey. Many battled. I hope this brings peace.
hahahahaha ahhh yes…the good old days…you know…when Facebook was free and kind, and the Russians were taking over… Thanks, actually the split (at least on my end) was rather cathartic, and a long time coming. It feels good to remove toxicity… …and it also feels good to be back on a decent writing platform.
I discovered the other day I still had a myspace account – which is bizarely how I met Tyler… before we crossed over to do business with the Russians… and here’s to family that is built with love and soul
Welcome back, my friend.
Hugs, Matt. You’re strong and you will conquer.
I had a similar experience that required severe boundary-drawing–hooray for ejecting toxicity!
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